Common Causes Of Differences In Sexual Desire
In today’s society, it is increasingly common for every couple to come home from work stressed and tired. It’s not the sexiest of moods, and it’s perfectly understandable that this feeling of desire leaves no room.
Substance use and some medications are known to reduce cravings. Some medications used to treat depression and anxiety can have side effects that reduce libido.
Responsibilities for child and family care and the associated daily work can also lead to low energy levels and prevent participation in sexual activity.
Problems with self-esteem and body image can make a person feel unwanted, reducing the chances of having an intimate relationship with a partner.
Acute or chronic illness, hormonal disturbances and pain during sexual intercourse can also interfere with libido.
Relationship difficulties can definitely lead to inconsistencies in desires, but in some cases it is difficult to say which came first – the chicken or the egg.
Tips if you want to have sex more often than your partner:
When you have a higher level of desire in your relationship, it can be difficult to cope with your partner’s lack of interest and commitment. It’s easy to take them personally and interpret their declining interest as rejection. Advances that are regularly rejected can lead to feelings of doubt, anger, frustration, and even sadness. You may also feel that any advances, including hugs and kisses, can be misinterpreted, so you end up avoiding physical intimacy altogether.
When you’re not sure what to do to reconnect with your partner, there are some considerations you can give.
Are you connected to your partner non-sexually? This includes hugs, kisses, holding hands, and cuddling without wanting to have sex. Do you notice and compliment them at other times than when you want sex? Do you help them around the house and help them relax so they can take time to leave the day and have some time for themselves? Do you share your feelings and thoughts with your partner? Did you ask him about his? Do you know what’s going on in their lives outside of yours?
Are you trying to help them relax and “get in the mood” before having sex?
Do you give them time to “get in the mood”? For some people, especially women, arousal takes time and is associated with emotional arousal, not just physical arousal. Interestingly, in “everyday circumstances” it takes about 20 minutes for a woman to be physically ready for sexual intercourse.
When you stop focusing on sex or the lack of sex and start paying attention to other aspects of your relationship with your partner, the pressure to fulfill each other’s sexual needs can decrease. I suggest that you start investing your energy in finding new ways to connect with each other that are not sexual. Find out what caused your partner to be less interested in sexuality and try to reconnect on an emotional level. I’ve highlighted a few things above, and if you feel like you’re missing a certain aspect, try investing a little energy, as emotional intimacy and non-sexual physical attachment have been shown to increase desire and interest in sexual activity with a partner. couple having a little fun.
Tips if you’re not interested in sex:
Also, when sex is an issue in a relationship, people with lower desires may avoid general intimacy, because they may fear that having a hug or kiss or initiating a hug or kiss means their partner is “going to have sex!” This can create a vicious cycle where you avoid non-sexual attachments to avoid sex, but by avoiding attachment you also create more distance between you and your partner, creating less desire for intimacy.
Society tells us that good sex should be spontaneous, that you want regular sex with your partner, that your partner should easily enter it, and if you don’t, there’s something wrong with you. Not true !!! While spontaneous sex is great, it is not easy to achieve and is regularly unrealistic. For some reason, people with lower sexual desire are more likely to go to therapy because they are believed to have a problem. I need two for tango! This is a team effort and you are in this situation together so you have to work together to get out of it.
In the meantime, I want you to consider a few things.
Have you been stressed a lot lately?
Have your circumstances changed recently?
Is there an aspect of your life that you worry too much about?
Do you have symptoms of depression or are you taking medication for depression?
When you engage in sexual activity, you find it pleasurable and wonder why you don’t pursue it more often?
Do you feel hesitant to start or accept your partner’s invitation?
Do you take time for yourself and take care of your own needs and pleasures?
It is important to know where you are at this point in your life and what you think might be causing your low desires. Thinking about your needs and what is expected of your relationship, not only in terms of intimacy but in general, can help you find some answers.
It can also help to remember times when you had a sexual desire and think about what was going on in your life at that time. How is it different? Do you have more emotional intimacy? Do you have less stress? Do you do more things together? Assessing the differences can provide invaluable information on how to reduce the differences between the desires currently in your relationship.
It also helps to watch out for small hints of wanting to stick with him and follow him. While it’s not an overwhelming desire to have sex with your partner, the effects of this little stimulation can not only result in a very rewarding sexual experience, but also increase your overall libido. Sometimes the hardest part, but committing to initiating intimacy, even when you’re not in the mood, can often lead to a complete sexual experience for both of you.
You can also think about how and why you resisted your partner’s advances. If the rejection is based on how progress is being made, you should tell your partner. You can’t change if you don’t know what will happen. Also, if your rejection was purely sexual, you should also let your partner know that you’re not rejecting them, but how you feel right now. If so, then you should try to arrange another time knowing that you won’t be too tired. As I mentioned earlier, striving for spontaneity doesn’t always make sense. Making a conscious effort to schedule times when you’re intimate can have great results because you have time to prepare, relax, and find the right mindset.
Finally, ask what you want! Tell your partner how much you like to be touched and what kind of stimulation you like. Telling them what you like can not only bring you joy, but also make a huge impact on them.